(un)TIMELY: met gala!

Whenever I get on a roll with other writing stuff, I get way inspired to write on THIS BLOG and then I drop everything else and just write here and then...I never get anything done. I am not, as they say, SPECTACULARLY TIME EFFICIENT.

Sue me. (You'd probs win about $600 USD, a few choice issues of RAYGUN magazine and more vintage polyester frocks than you will know what to do with. I hope that's ok with you)

I never did a Met Gala post. I want to do a Met Gala post.
HERE WE GO.

CATEGORY 1
BEST EVER OR I DIE OR FUCK THAT LOOKS SO GOOD

C SEVS IN PROENZA SCOULER

Fuuuuuuuck. This is perfection. Wait, this is beyond that..this is life goal. 

It's the kind of thing that shouldn't look good on like, anybody and you can't tell anyone about, they just have to SEE it on you ("Um, it's like..a long-sleeved teal lace dress, with kind of a mock turtleneck?"). World please note: The night of the party it was about 98 degrees, raining and humid as hell- a lovely RAIN FOREST LIKE evening. HOW DOES SHE LOOK SO UN-SWEATY?

BONUS SEVS LOVE (also in lace!):

If wearing eye make-up didn't make me look like a 13-year-old trying to sneak into DA CLUB..I would go for this weird eyelid stripe.

Anyways, back to the GAAAAAALLLAAAAAAA

CHARLOTTE GAINSBOURG IN BALENCIAGA (bien sur, doy doy doy)

Ok, at least SHE looks like what I would look like- and that is to say sweaty as fuck. I could personally care less what happens on her head, body, hand, neck, ears, WHATEVAH. Let's have REAL TALK about her below-the-ankle situation: That shit is BAY NAY NAYS increds. You know when I miss not working at a fashion magazine anymore? When I have the need to just HOLD a shoe like that. E.G. RIGHT NOW.

GRACE CODDINGTON IN...A FORMAL SANDAL

Hey, commit to your look..Whatevs it was a WORK party, basically I applaud it and I applaud your hair. Fuck those gowns! It was hot as hell that night!

THE ZOE IN MARC JACOBS

 

This is glorious. I want it. I wanna pet it. Gimme that.

CATEGORY 2

BEST USE OF A MOGWAI

CHRISTINA HENDRICKS IN SOMETHING, I DON'T WANT TO LOOK IT UP.

Rough night for a smoky eye. Um..why is Gizmo on her shoulder? JUST WONDERING.

At least she had this to entertain her throughout the night:

CATEGORY 3

I KNOW THIS IS A VOGUE PARTY, BUT I KINDA WANTED TO GET BAPTIZED AS WELL...CAN ANYONE OUT THERE HELP ME?

ALT & WHOOPI G

Oh, score. Thanks guys. Meet me at the fountain?

heaven speaks italian

I went to Miu Miu and I matched the walls.

VINTAGE DRESS // TARGARTE NUDE MESH SOCKS // MIU MIU SATIN & LEATHER CLOG HEELS

Then I tried on these perfect Miu Miu satin and leather wonder heels.
Then I melted into the upholstery and disappeared, because nothing would ever be so perfect ever everrrr again.

The End.
I am posting this from another dimension..we get free wifi here !

i call her red

Monday night Christine invited me to be her +1 for Karen Elson's sold out solo show at Le Poisson Rouge.

REAL LIFE DREAM WEAVER

She was...luminous. Magical. Incandescent? I may not know the right words. I died more than a few times.
I don't think I will have a day where I am like, I NEED to listen to a Karen Elson record today; it's the only thing that will get me through; it isn't exactly my thing..BUT- her voice is gorgeous. I was taken aback at how incredible she sounded.



(I forgot my FLIP! ADM*! Here is a tiny clip from my Lumix, twill have to suffice)

SPEAKING OF INCREDS, let's discuss how she LOOKED: That long peachyglowdress (with matching fascinator AND microphone fringe) and her unbelievably hypnotically gorge orange flame pennylocks. Superjelz x 100 millzbillz.

I am sorry to gush, but she is a VISION. And my hair idol. And so pretty I want to CRY.

Oh and no bigs, my second hair idol and Head of the Pennylocks Hair Association, Grace Coddington was there, front row and center. Amaze.

*ADM is AY DIOS MIO! Obvi, it's the new OMG. PASS IT ON!

fashion emergency

Please send one of those rescue Saint Bernards....

...with these LD TUTTLE strapwedge dreamboats in a Red Cross rescue barrel around it's neck.

V V NECESSARY FOR ME TO CONTINUE LIVING.


Thank you very much for your time.

kkkinda busy

OMG IT'S HERE.

BRB, spending rewatching it 300 times and making an epic post.

OH PS THANKS STEF, MAKE A LONGER FUCKING VIDEO WHY DON'T YOU? Geeez.

can't stop, won't stop

I

 CAN'T

STOP

FREAKING 

OUT

  OVER

THESE 

SHOES

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BALENCIAGA F/W 2010 AKA ABSOLUTE SHOE PERFECTION

They are a combination of so many incredible and seriously rad references.

To my eye, I see:
Eames bent plywood chairs, mineral deposits, salt shakers, Gerrit Reitveld chairs, my childhood FisherPrice rollerskates that clicked onto your shoes, sedimentary rock, and oh...the hopes and dreams of my entire lifetime?

I have never been so excited to see something in real life. 

I know I say it often but I REALLY will try to do anything in my power to own those bent plywood beauties. Although any of them would make me happy for the rest of my life, let's get real.

Sorta speechless.

rah rah ohmahgah

This is what we talk about when we talk about GENIUS.

GAGA BARBIES. Holy fucking moly. He has DIY notes and turtorials on his flickr as well!
I am speechless and full of awe and envy. 'veik11', I SALUTE YOU.

Now you know what I want for Christmas.

thanks kara!

painting the roses red

When I saw the pictures of my Lady and that lady...my first thought was, "How absolutely DEMURE, Gaga!"

And really, it strikes me as nothing but LOGICAL to dress like the Queen of Hearts/aVictorian Satan worshiper/a very sexy deflated balloon animal when meeting the Queen.

But then I thought...Hmmm, she does seem a but PLAIN...what's missing, pray tell?

AH, OF COURSE. A SHAKESPEAREAN RUFF. Clearly!
What does one do in a full latex ensemble, anyways?

This, OBVIOUSLY.

My heart just keeps growing fonder and fonder of you, Steffie.

PS, If you should so desire (and I secretly do), the Lady gets her latex from Atsuko Kudo...maybe you should too?

in my dreams

One day I will do something worthy of allowing me to appear somewhere wearing this outfit.
I am completely serious, I consider this a PERFECT LOOK.

Ok, let's get real. I would wear this anywhere, forget "spesh occasions".  
Let's fangirl all over it, shall we?
1. Off-kilter bouffant. No one really needs to see this much of my face, btw, but I still would love to walk around like this. Mental note, buy giant bumpits and DIY it.
2. White mink shoulder stole straightjacket topper. Lurve.
3. Long flowy sequined skirt (dress?)with whats-his-name on it, increds. 

and and AND:

4.A JUDITH LEIBER BAG. I have always had a dark secret love for JL novelty bags..they are so synonymous with expensive tacky aunt but I LOVE THEM.  
I LOVE THEM.


Whyyyyyy wouldn't you want a bejeweled pavé glittery forestdwelling creature slung across your body that you can fill with superimportant things like red lipstick, stray pennies, a button from god knows what, airplane peanuts, a lucky rock, grape hubba bubba and $11 dollars american (TMI?)

Here it is! Gimmmeeeee:

Or this one:

Or, okay, I WILL TAKE THIS ONE TOO:

UNFORTCH FOR OL' WL, these sweet, sweet jazzholes cost like, $3,800+ bones on the average and SO it reallllyyy REALLY will never be my own personal intense pleasure to own one. Very sad, this thing we call real life.

gaga, ooh la la

THIS IS IT, FRIENDS.
This is the moment.
If you love fashion, and don't love GAGALOO TOO..then you don't get the joke, you don't get the fun, you don't get the THING. You don't have to love the music (bad move) but you have to LOVE THE LOVE.

Today I watched the Lady's new video, Bad Romance and to quote Polly Mellon in Unzipped..IT CHANGED MY EYE. That is to say this shit is THE ONLY LEVEL.

This is also a pretty offish landmark for ol' Lady Gags- no more homemade couture "homage"... There is ALEXANDER MCQUEEN and it is REAL.

LET'S LET IT ALL IN:



FIRST SHOT: WE ENTER HEAVEN.
And HEAVEN looks like a Dolce & Gabbana ad! If you were wondering, I audibly GASPED when it started. I love.



Um, this is the only way to sit in a chair.



Mental note, dismantle old VCR and place parts on face, POST HASTE. [ED NOTE, eek they ARE razor blades. I am not that hardcore!] I mean, this is 30 seconds in and already 4000 mega fashion moments have happened.



But then..Que es esto, La Gaga? Nail mesh? (Is this also bizarre product placement?)

Oh, and if you were WONDERING Where the Wild Things Are?



They are here:



good grief, creeper latex Max costumes! Holy Whaaaa. WILD RUMPUS, INDEED.



Hey kids, REMIND ME TO D I for Y this kooky crown.



There is some sort of story in the vid of like..an overdose? Bad Romance indeed, Gags. This hair is neo-Frenchy-in-Grease. I want easter egg curls, i think. Anime freak eyeballs, mabes no.



Who's this guy? Is that couture headgear?



I am ready to move past this look. I call this "Hot Bod Gagalog", or "Dope Britney". it's sexxxay, but I need more. (...and more is coming, JUST YOU WAIT)



Oh hai.



PSSST i see you, MCQUEEN SHOE, I SEEEE YOUUUUU. (fashionforeshadowing!)



Sing alongggggg: I want your love and I want your revenge



I want your love, I dont wanna be friendsssssss



OK. I just got you started up, are you ready?
Ready for the MOST MAJOR MOMENT EVER?



FULL



MCQUEEN



HEAD TO MOTHERFUCKING ARMADILLO TOE !



McQUEENADILLOS!!!!!!

I mean, I CAN'T. Can you? I can't. I am so in love.
STOP THE WORLD. GAGA OWNS IT ALLLLLLL.
NO ONE can best this. NO ONE!

2 MAJOR song notes:
1. 1990s Madonna impersonation is reaching an all-time high in this jam AS IT SHOULD. She shouts, "Cuz I'm a free bitch, baby" and it sounds ZACTLY like M.
2. The french chorus at the end is hilarimazing. J'adoreeeeeeee.

There is some amazing shit at the end of the vid too- bitch shows her full ASS and sets herself on fire on a bear rug but like, after the McQueen-adillos I have nothing left. I feel like this:



I LOVE YOU, LADY GAGA.

so choice

THE BOOTS!
They are here. I HAVE THEM. And they are AMAZING.



Multiple outfit posts to come by the end of the week. Wearing these makes me dress differently; it's a look I call "Facehunter'd Swedish Shopgirl". It involves long lengths and odd shaped frocks. Obvi.

Thank you THANK YOU for sending these to me, Liz (and Crystal!)..you made my YEAR.

You all need these. Get them !!

i like your style

i never worked up the courage this week to introduce myself to OLIVIER ZAHM.



i did, however, have no qualms about photographing his shiny green HEELS at the Zero+Maria Cornejo show.

can you stand it???? that boot is no joke!

i can feel the hysteria, even on the west coast

marc jacobs talks after partayyys over at the cut:

"We’re doing it with Visionaire and we’re doing it for Lady Gaga"

obviarse.
i mean, DUH DUH DUH. why she isn't starring in the MJ FW 09/10 campaign is BEYOND ME!

so fashion is JUST now accepting gagagagagaglunacy as SO DOPE, is it awesome or a bummersville that she can get the real things and mabes doesn't need to crafternoonitize a headpiece and leotard for her daily coffee run? unclear.

btdubs, "doin it for lady gaga" is my new mantra

gypsies, tramps and thieves. and hairdos.

newest white lightning SUPER INSPIRATION:



cher's hair in mermaids!
god DAMN i want to look like this. like really really really. like now. like forever.
if i actually knew how to USE a blowdryer & brush to it's full potential you best believe i would do this every day.



it's perfect. perfect perfection.
superthick black bangs and waves and volume and 60s but not reallllyyy too ronettes for 09.

although what's wrong with the ronettes??!


hearts

answer: NOTHIN AT ALL.
so dope.

once again, all together now:
I WAS BORN IN THE WRONG ERA.

ps
cher, winona & christina ricci mabes never looked better than in this movie. get your envy on over at my tumblr.