don't even bang unless you plan to hit something

this apartment rules when it's totally empty. should i feel more sad about leaving it?



shit i do when i'm alone. nerd.


yeah i'm wearing a mood ring..jealous?!

i did a bad thing.
and i am a terrible liar.
so if you ask me where i got these see by chloe dopeass dries-y sneaker wedges, i will say I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT..and run away.



found this shirt in the purge. i used to wear it a lot in 2003. umm...yeah. i have too many things.
shop yr closet!! (says the thrift addict)


madonna's performance of vogue on the 1990 mtv music awards..SO AMAZING!

was running movies on mute all day yesterday during the sale (tenenbaums & lebowski, obvs) and then steve was like, WHY ARE YOU SELLING THIS IMMACULATE COLLECTION DVD?
and we watched it.
and the videos are so sick.
and its HYPNOTIZING.
and it may have been the fault of the wine and the veuve clicquot and the rosé but..madonna seems cool to me again?

i have to give a billion thanks to steve & kat & adf & tbonz for hanging with me all day long ad keeping it hilarz up in 240.

ps, blast this song today! ONE NINE NINE NINE

SHOP IT LIKE ITS HAWT (wha?)

I AM SELLING A TON OF STUFF IN MY APARTMENT THIS WEEKEND!



vintage clothes
a TON of shoes: boots, sandals, flats etc etc.
vintage, prada, miu miu, chanel, frye, jeffrey campbell, ETC ETC.

tons of cool vintage houseware & kitchen stuff, lamps, some furniture.

CDs, books, a horsehead bookend, a plexiglass coffee table and YOUR MOM.
JUST KEEDING ABOUT YOUR MOM.

COME TO MY SALE, BRAHS!!

SATURDAY & SUNDAY
MAY 30 & 31

12PM - 6 PM

240 EAST 2nd STREET between b & c
APT 3D

everything is anywhere from FREE - $100 !

the 411

found my old nameplate necklace(s)



really digging it again. the "78" was a gift from my sister, dopeshow.
that sums it up, yeah?

if you don't know, now ya know

yesterday afternoon (to night..to breaka breaka dawn..) was the first stress-worry-anxiety-free few hours i have spent in WEEKS.

kat & louise took me on an epic adventure yesterday..i had no idea where we were going at any point, it was all surprises..so best!!


the ladeez room at the university club, no cameras or phones allowed, OOPSYDOOPS.
ps, WHY ARE MY FRIENDS SUCH AMAZONS? pps, why am i such a midge?

wherein we:
had teatime at bergdorf's (so dope!)
shoe shopped on the 5th floor (um, HUGE sale just F Y IIIIIIII)
had a few champagnes at the university club (i am obsessed, kat is a member- BE JEALOUS)
imbibed gallons of flavored vodka (horseradish is AMAZING, TRUST) at the russian vodka room and when ssam bar was closed early (sadface!!)
we hit up crif dogs at closing for hawt dawgs and a neil diamond singalong (ours)

any night where i end up in the street in the early morning yelling juicy lyrics (born sinner, the opposite of a winner) is a great one, no?

ps, the movers should be here within the hour. LET'S DO THIS.

i'm a hazard to myself, i really am.

more proof that i am from the wrong era:



i mean, there is a BOX in my living room marked 8 TRACKS.
and it's FULL.
i have a problem.

ramble on

ohhh hey now! i am the jauntsetter of the week. (thanks dorothy!!)

maybe you care?



you can read about how 'make me a supermodel' reruns kept me sane on a crazy plane, italy made me a caffeine addict and if i don't watch the big lebowski on most flights, i might freak out.

go now!

ps,
i basically had to be pulled kicking and screaming to this photoshoot..if it weren't for kat to calm me down and ADF the magical photographer (not to mention the hair and makeup dude who made my nasty hangover face/hair look DECENT)..i woulda stayed home that day.

pps,
if you ever need your portrait taken, i highllllyyyyy recommend ADF. he played jay-z, plied me with rose, and acted out scenes from blow up (at my request) to make me feel comfortable. it was almost fun.

c'est si bon

i am convinced that packing was invented by satan to punish those of us who subscribe to a MAXIMALIST lifestyle. good grief, make it end.

tales of a publications addict:



lots of issues of oui, some more copies of the face, premiere issue of sassy



still so dope. i miss you fabien, i MISS YOU.



i have most of the playboys from the 60s & 70s. best covers ever.
they are so genius and campy and beautiful.



still the best issue of purple ever: f/w 2006. vincent gallo in women's balenciaga (one of the BEST balenciaga collections ever, too)

i mean:



okay...back to the tape gun !

help me to help you

hihihiiiii everyone.
so.
time to flee this concrete quicksand for GREEN THINGS and CHEAP BEER.

as of june 4, i will be chillin in portland, oregon for a while, then a little LA action, then a cross country drive, then...? who knows. i just plan to stay away from new york until fall (whaaaaat).

AS I AM NO LONGER GAINFULLY EMPLOYED (my own choice, please join the factions of those think i am insane) i am trying to SELL SOME STUFF.

1. i need cash flow.
2. i own way too much crap.

i will have this site up:


SHOP WHITE LIGHTNING

until sunday, may 31.

buy things!
if you aren't feelin a price, email me at the site email and make me an offer i CANNOT REFUSE.

i will keep adding to it, some clothes, more shoes, etc.
maybe you like?

back to packing.
summer heat + 4th floor walkup +small space = die.
sighhhh.

i'd bang it all day

just wondering- is you weekend as DOPE as mine?
packing an apartment filed with EVERYHING IN THE UNIVERSE and hauling trash and detritus up and down 4 flights of stairs all day?
no?
sucks to be you i guess, because THIS RULES.*

i just wanna listen to the breeders and get an ice cream with someone who doesn't suck. one divine hammer.
too much to ask?

*not not not not not not not someone kill me not

beyond

i think i just popped something important, some sort of vessel or artery that is probs very necessary for me to continue living.

steve is responsible for ending my young and fragile life; he sent me a lookbook link to this 13 year old powerhouse mindblower right here:



WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAAAAATTTT?! "GAVI" (can't be real name..can it?) ? WHO ARE YOU AND CAN YOU TELL ME HOW YOU GOT SO DOPE?



motherfucking PLAYSTATION BOWTIE!
YOU LITTLE WONDER.



margielz inspired, no big deal.



i DIE. seriously, i am fa-reaking out. next level all over the place.
what IS that thing he is wearing in the first pic??? i want it!

TAVZ: meet him and start shopping/IMing/DMing/texting together, IMMEDIATELY.

can tavi and gavi star in a graphic novelization of me & steve as 13 year olds?

every cutie wit a booty bought a coogi

would you like a chance to see how lunacy lives?



why don't you mosey on over to lemondrop where i am their "closet fever" gal of the week?
you can see pictures of my shelves/closet/shoe piles/jangle insanity/god help us/what's wrong with me/good grief.

maybe you click here and go like..right now?

ps..thanks so much, julie for the nicest write-up of all time...!

it don't cost nothin to just BROWSE

hey white lightning, you just quit yer job in the middle of a major recession, what are you gonna do now?

hmmm...shop online?
JK! (sorta)

but why do i just want to wear tee shirt capes all summer? i think noferatu has inspired me.


free people riding hood convertible top

not sure what goes on here- giant slouchy cape tee that can be a hood and shawl and tank top? sounds GRAND. sign me up.


ksubi batman cape top

this shit is straight up dopeness.
i would stand around like this girl the whole time and maybe run down hallways screaming I WANNA BE AN AIRBORN RANGER.
unfortch for me (fortch for my bank account) i am not the only that thinks so and thing is all sold out. wah wah.

he wants to hold them like they do in texas, please

if you were unclear as to why brendan the bdonns donnelly is one of my closest friends and favorite people then mabes you just need to check out this situation right here:



ohhhh man. i love the internets. i do.
videogum posted this video today and the comments are so so hilarious.
i like the debate/disbelief that the handsome dude in this vid (click) would willingly dress up like a bloodsucking criss angel enthusiast and dance alone in his room. (i would link to his "nosferatu does buffalo bill" video but youtube flagged it and removed it! haaha)

well..it's all true. handsome weirdo & criss angel's #1 fan are one and the same.
the best part is that if you KNOW brendan, this shit is just regs.

is it bright in here or is it just me?

clockwise options for hungover morningface:



1. slow & steady wins the race white plastic weirdo square-in-circles (i made steve get them for me at a sample sale, but like..they are sorta too insane, even for me)
2. vintage 60s perfect circles
3. brendan's 80s vintage vuarnets (that i "borrowed" 2 years ago..ooopsydoops, sorry bdonns)
4. f21 kurt cobain black circles

rollin' old school

still recovering multiple drinks last night with one of my oldest friends, ted aka theodore james aka teddy p.



we became best friends after we sat next to each other in algebra [EDIT: ted says geometry. hmm.oopsydoops] in 10th grade, no big deal.
i think we were the two worst students in the class.

i spent most of high school driving around in his car.

holy fucking nostalgia overload.
how about a picture of us from junior..prom? semi-formal? i have no idea actually.



a few HILARIOUS DETAILS to note:
my dyed black hair (and bjork buns)
lots of rings, def black fingernails.
weird chinese dress - from pearl river, probz
the glamorous cafeteria setting
ted's...spike haircut?

ps,
i am sure if i'd been in a different dress i'd be wearing a choker.
god i love a choker. like, a black velvet ribbon? SICK!
dang!
BRING BACK CHOKERS!

this has been a public service announcement for "unfortunately named trends you'd rather forget that i think are actually kinda dope?".

chokers in 09!!

pps: ted's take on WHITE LIGHTNING: "i have no fucking CLUE what the hell you are talking about 90% of the time, lizzie. i seriously can't understand a word."

aww, he still reads it though, how's that for a real friend?

it's all happening

mmkayy soo....i guess i should write a big ol' post about this..and i will, in time.
but here is the major part to share for right now..thursday will be my last day at T !
so crazy. i've been here for four years, it's like graduating college or some shiz.

time to roll on...i have some really exciting summer plans coming and i will share it all soon.

today i am packing up my cubicle??? SO WEIRD, DUDES.


tavi's painting of me, our photo editor scott as a young lad, my fave marc jacobs ad, donald from the virgins by mr black

packrat + four years = good grief.


so. many. fucking. magazines.

i am determined to take only 3 boxes home.


a sisley ad that i find amusing, a self-portrait of yayoi kusama from the 60s, general mess

someone at work told me yesterday that i'm a living embodiment of a season finale of felicity.
THAT made me laugh.

ok, back to filling every garbage can on the 6th floor.

everybody else is overwhelmed by indifference

dreaming about peggy moffit today, no big deal





i would wear that bathing suit.
i really would.
ps, rudy gernreich (designer of said bathing suit) also designed the "pubikini"...which showcases exactly what you think.
sorta next level for the pre-waxing era.
juuuuussst a lil peek inside my head.

please play this song on the radio

this
ladies and gentlemen
is the face of a LAWBREAKER:



I AM SO HARDCORE.
how so, you ask?
i'll tell you.
i, dear friends, made the mistake of trying to not only imbibe alcohol but to also eat tacos in state college, pa WITH AN EXPIRED LICENSE.

this is apparently tantamount to mass genocide and/or puppy burning.

i got yelled at by a bouncer who refused to look at me becuase i offended him so and i was almost denied entrance to a sports bar - for DINNER mind you, and while i was with MY MOM and FAMILY- all because of the highly offensive expired license.

state college needs to fucking relax.


from the store 'jamaica junction'..ah, so much comedy, so little time

on the plus side, my lil cuz is all growns up.
it all worked out-
we found a dive bar where they take my kind, i drank 2 dollar bottles of miller high life and something called "statutory grape" which tasted like melted otter pops got us really wasted. oopsydoops.

good times!
how was your weekend?

i can't talk about it, i gotta sing about it & make a record

i don't think i can let this go by without comment..it's very early and all these elements combined are making my head hurt:



so..let's break this down:

rivers cuomo in "funky shades" (stop) & weezer (thumbs down post-pinkerton, let's get real) +
t-mobile party performance (eek) +
mgmt cover (hmm?) +
pokerface interlude (mah mah mah mah) =

what in the what?

help me:
is this funny and campy? or just embarrassing?
i can't decide. i can't figure it out.
please see for reference:
ted leo's since u been gone/ maps mashup from a few years ago (which i am a big fan of, ps)

by the way, looking at rivers in those glasses makes me feel the way i did on saturday when my mom asked me what the "strange punctuations" were that people put at the end of their facebook messages. which is to say i just want to close my eyes and put my head down on the table.

it's been building up inside of me for oh i don't know how long

i had my first fresh coconut of the year today..there is NOTHINGGGGG better than a sunny day & cocunut.



it's fucking GLORIOUS outside, loverpantses.
let's listen to the beach boys and maybe take a walk with someone you dig?

i am outtie for the weekend, gonna hit up the PENN STATE scene for my cousin's graduation (yaaaay lauren!). i wanna go to a frat party..is that wrong?

***for those of you in the city, PLEASE go to court for louise's big opening! it will be amazing, i am sorry to miss it...

bon weekend, brahs
xoxo

shock jockz

this may be an epic disaster, but i am gonna pimp it out anyways....

angela "miss manners" barrow has invited bdonns & i (and a bunch of other people) to be on her new radio show tonight. [we are both ready to live out or howard stern aspirations...]



we will be discussing dating (?!) and the horrors of, etc. i guess we will offer advice?
do you really want advice from me and brendan? think about that before you answer.

i have no idea how i sound on the radio but i have a feeling i will be mortified when i listen to it.

keep in mind:
1. i sound like a slightly bored if hyperactive teenager.
2. my laugh is loud and weird.
3. i say like and ummmm a lot.
4. fucking A, why did i agree to this?

ok so:
tonight.
7 PM, live from roberta's (pizza party? wha?)
i think you can actually call in with...questions? comments?
heritageradionetwork.com
718-497-2128

good grief.

EDIT 1: if you didn't listen live on the internets, our genius is lost forever..archiving it was DENIED for being "too vulgar" !!! fucking a, it was pretty hilarious, i have to say.

EDIT 2: the shirt (cuz i've been asked) is another from my built by wendy archive: beat up bloody boys playing rugby on a rugby tee..LOVE IT!

hairspray & denim

can ANY of you deny her any longer?
i don't recommend it.
let gaga into your life, feel the sweet warm light of her SATURN SPACE HELMET surround you:



when someone asks:
what does one wear to perform on ELLEN?
obviously the answer is:
a denim patchwork melange of a jumpsuit, avec IMPORTANT SHOULDER, bien sur (this sentence includes all the french i know).



she is a multitasker; downward facing GA..WHILE piano playing!!

okay SJAGAGA*, if you are trying to trip me up by WEARING PANTS..i may have to say WELL PLAYED. i don't own any and i am not starting now.

GAGA 1, WL 0.

but THIS ISN'T OVER, STEF.

ps, my friend mark is interviewing her today, (in the cuckoobananies flesh!) and i fear my jealousy cannot be contained.

*Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta?! good grief. "elizabeth nicole spiridakis" doesn't seem so insane all of a sudden, now does it.

the future always looks good in the golden land

summer summer summer vacation is coming (more on that laters) but i will be west coastin' it for a bit and i am starting to get really amped.



a certain lunatic who gives me headaches/808s/heartbreaks/etc. read me a bunch of essays by joan didion recently and i keep thinking about them. so i'm reading and rereading slouching toward bethlehem and still thinking the 60s were really my era.

books, guys.
BOOKS!
if you're not familiar, it's sorta like a paper blog?



i think she may be the coolest crazy lady around these days.
get on it, feed your brain for a second.

also:
someone buy me this first edition of Joanie D's The White Album..this cover is the dopenesssss

it was all a dream, i used to read word up magazine

if anyone is a bigger packrat than me, it's my cousin michelle.
yesterday at her parent's house we went digging through all of the stuff she has in her old bedroom...so much stuff from our teenage past, i will do a million posts about it.

when she pulled this out i almost lost it:



the original copy of the zine i made with my friend hazel in 10th grade!!!
DIEEEEEEEEEE. a milliontrillion times.

i will scan and post, it's half awesome, half embarrassing.

favorite part: my review of the rocket from the crypt show at maxwell's (december 30, 1994) where i got a black eye..! haaaaahahaha.

ps, i lied to my parents and said i tripped and knocked my head on a table (worst lie ever?), but really some douche tried to crowdsurf and knocked me down !
i still have a teeeenytiny scar above my eye where i got the epic gash...

pps, i was kinda funny at 16.

pardon me for a moment, i am currently drowning in nostalgia.

my enemies are all too familiar

in 2001 i had a brief obsession with uh..yellow ribbons? like..that you get for horse jumping? yellow = 3rd place, that was the most hilaretarded and amusing. anyways, i used to wear them on jackets and bags and stuff, like a lunatic.

this morning i had an overwhelming urge to wear one on my dress.



WINNER! AND STILL CHAMPION! (not)



dunno who i was today. F21 shirtdress and fauxleather AA leggings- ROLLED UP and marc bonkers penny loafers.
???
unclear, it felt interesting though.

once i got to work i had to run it by someone i trust:

beep boop boop boop [numbers being dialed]

alex (at his desk on the other side of the floor): ga?
me: gaaaaaagaa. GAGA. um...a rolled up legging?
alex: noticed, love it. dope.
me: gaaa.

aaaanddd SCENE.



full disclosure, in the end i went with a SPANGLE JANGLE from h&m that i made superlong with extra chain. blue ribbon stayed home, too bad so sad.

it was a tough decision, but i am already the weird girl at the office and some days i can't take all the wtf looks.
know what ahm sayin?

happy friday, homeslices.

lonesome crowded...best?*

so you know that part in the virgin suicides when josh hartnett is about to drive away from kiki d's house and HEART is playing and she runs out, MAKEOUT ASSAULTS him, and runs back in? (ps, i would realllly click that link. like really. try to contain yourself. i die, you die, we all die for dieeeee)



well when i make the demented teen movie of my (fictional & better) life, i will have a scene like that with the last 2 minutes of this song (2:13 and on. IT WOULD BE SO GOOD). if michael cera steals this idea, i will kill him.

*ewwww puns! i'm the worst. apologies to all.

mini-madoffs & almost engagements

forget an 80s lily spin-off, let's revive the BLOODHOUND GANG (3-2-1 contact? anybody? bueller?) and turn gossip girl into a full on mystery/crime show.



i love when they band together and scooby-doo it!
remems when they had to help serena beat a murder rap?
(maybe the best "i'm chuck bass" moment so far)



blair is velma, serena is the daphne, nate is freddy, dan is shaggy and chuck bass is...chuck bass.

those meddling teens! they always get in the way of all the bad guys!

does blake lively hate having to play such a dumb annyoing character? just wondering.

highlight of the ep:
"i like to be the one doing the entering" ?! CHUCK BASS, ladies and gentlemen. chuck. bass.
so dirty. (i love it, i love it so much)

tiny heartbreaks: chuck looking lovelorn and making miss blair cry, and yet HE LOVES HER! OH WILL THEY EVER BE HAPPY? (this is where you fall back on the divan with your hand to your face and sigh)

what in the what: having your daughter arrested at the russian tea room (twist!)..chic? class act, lily VDW. classssssssy.

hilari-awesome: did anyone catch that on the gossip girl website they flash at the beginning, the headline for spotting georgina sparks at bible rehab was "OMJC" ? haaaaaahahah. ok, GOOD ONE, GG WRITERS! good one. what about omfjc? too far?

STERN SIDENOTE: where is dorota? STOP THE MADNESS!

these are sneakers, basically, right?

QUESTION:
is the following footwear superpractical for someone (i.e. ME) who is spending the summer on the west coast, probs on a bike, definitely outdoors, maybe in a tree:


dolce vita / sam edelman

ANSWER:
DUH OBVS DOY. totally practical. you (i.e. ME) still need to be TALL in the pacific northwest, trufaxual information.

ADDENDUM

HOLD IT.
i have made an egregious error and THAT is in not including this picture in the met round up.
FORGIVE ME! i have sinned.



what in the name of KANYEEZY is happening here, riri?

whaaaat. what.
what?

i need info. like, stat.
who made this?
what happened to her soul glo curls?
was the glove necessary?
does she keep her wallet in the shoulder?
i sort think this is what the waiters at the met ball should look like, actually.
one last thing:
can i borrow the jacket just once?

that zebra carpet really challenged me

hoooolleeeeee shizbomb. forgive me, everyone. i have not gotten deep into the MET GALA slideshows until right now and i am kinda reeling. it was sort of the best one yet, mabes cuz i'd rather see models dolled up than lame actresses. that's just ME.

allow me to begin with the "kids, stay off of drugs" award which goes to...kate moss. or at least, this lady formerly known as kate moss:



it's kind of a bummer, isn't it?
upside: you look great marc! pants! novel!

speaking of fallen iconz..SOMEONE WAS AT THE LADY GAGA SHOW SATURDAY NIGHT (truefax) and is FEELING JEALLYBALLZ that she is not the #1 chameleon anymore:



mmmkayyyy madonna. mmkay. pokerface, we got it.
ps, gaga already wore those boots last week, sorrs.

more LV, in the most shocking of ways:



fucking crapballs, leighton. i am torn between OMFG, i toooootally wanna wear that TOO and uh..these pictures'll be around for a long time, know what ahm sayin? hmm. fencing it, fer now.

the SIT NEXT TO ME award goes to:



ALT. killing it, covering it, being it, living it.
wait is he smuggling someone in? is he fashion trojan horse? or the dread pirate roberts?
haahah. okay, i just cracked myself up.

MOVING ON.

i need to discuss this:



DR LISA, i applaud you. balmain gets one free pass from me and HERE IT IS.
question: what does she wear when you see her for a dermatologist appointment? avant shouldered white jackets with a rodarte legging? swarovski encrusted stethoscope? one would hope. FINGERS CROSSED.


debbie...is this a bea arthur tribute?


clogs? ANKLE? how racy!


what? no jangles? no color? no more mullet?
so low key, kan!! i was hopin for a crazy SOCK at least.


dear satan:
if i pledge my eternal soul to you CAN I LOOK 1/4 AS HOT AS DIANE VON FURSTERNBURG? at HALF her AGE? eva longoria looks so PTA mom next to DVF. top drawer, lady. love it.


AWESOME. (kristen mcmenamy! julien dy's!)


awesomer? (lacroix, sweetie!)


AWESOMEST.
"oh, this? vintage helmut lang. pants. messy ponytail. why? BECAUSE I AM STELLA TENNANT, DUDES. no more questions."


uh...i think jack white is kinda really hot. i feel uncomfortable admitting this. are you ok with it?

you know what else is making me uncomf? in a seriously fantastic way?



british boy(s).
oh. hello. hi.

did i miss anyone who was dopeshow?