miss you much

I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU



when is it back, WHENNNNNNNNNNNN?

mini-madoffs & almost engagements

forget an 80s lily spin-off, let's revive the BLOODHOUND GANG (3-2-1 contact? anybody? bueller?) and turn gossip girl into a full on mystery/crime show.



i love when they band together and scooby-doo it!
remems when they had to help serena beat a murder rap?
(maybe the best "i'm chuck bass" moment so far)



blair is velma, serena is the daphne, nate is freddy, dan is shaggy and chuck bass is...chuck bass.

those meddling teens! they always get in the way of all the bad guys!

does blake lively hate having to play such a dumb annyoing character? just wondering.

highlight of the ep:
"i like to be the one doing the entering" ?! CHUCK BASS, ladies and gentlemen. chuck. bass.
so dirty. (i love it, i love it so much)

tiny heartbreaks: chuck looking lovelorn and making miss blair cry, and yet HE LOVES HER! OH WILL THEY EVER BE HAPPY? (this is where you fall back on the divan with your hand to your face and sigh)

what in the what: having your daughter arrested at the russian tea room (twist!)..chic? class act, lily VDW. classssssssy.

hilari-awesome: did anyone catch that on the gossip girl website they flash at the beginning, the headline for spotting georgina sparks at bible rehab was "OMJC" ? haaaaaahahah. ok, GOOD ONE, GG WRITERS! good one. what about omfjc? too far?

STERN SIDENOTE: where is dorota? STOP THE MADNESS!

that zebra carpet really challenged me

hoooolleeeeee shizbomb. forgive me, everyone. i have not gotten deep into the MET GALA slideshows until right now and i am kinda reeling. it was sort of the best one yet, mabes cuz i'd rather see models dolled up than lame actresses. that's just ME.

allow me to begin with the "kids, stay off of drugs" award which goes to...kate moss. or at least, this lady formerly known as kate moss:



it's kind of a bummer, isn't it?
upside: you look great marc! pants! novel!

speaking of fallen iconz..SOMEONE WAS AT THE LADY GAGA SHOW SATURDAY NIGHT (truefax) and is FEELING JEALLYBALLZ that she is not the #1 chameleon anymore:



mmmkayyyy madonna. mmkay. pokerface, we got it.
ps, gaga already wore those boots last week, sorrs.

more LV, in the most shocking of ways:



fucking crapballs, leighton. i am torn between OMFG, i toooootally wanna wear that TOO and uh..these pictures'll be around for a long time, know what ahm sayin? hmm. fencing it, fer now.

the SIT NEXT TO ME award goes to:



ALT. killing it, covering it, being it, living it.
wait is he smuggling someone in? is he fashion trojan horse? or the dread pirate roberts?
haahah. okay, i just cracked myself up.

MOVING ON.

i need to discuss this:



DR LISA, i applaud you. balmain gets one free pass from me and HERE IT IS.
question: what does she wear when you see her for a dermatologist appointment? avant shouldered white jackets with a rodarte legging? swarovski encrusted stethoscope? one would hope. FINGERS CROSSED.


debbie...is this a bea arthur tribute?


clogs? ANKLE? how racy!


what? no jangles? no color? no more mullet?
so low key, kan!! i was hopin for a crazy SOCK at least.


dear satan:
if i pledge my eternal soul to you CAN I LOOK 1/4 AS HOT AS DIANE VON FURSTERNBURG? at HALF her AGE? eva longoria looks so PTA mom next to DVF. top drawer, lady. love it.


AWESOME. (kristen mcmenamy! julien dy's!)


awesomer? (lacroix, sweetie!)


AWESOMEST.
"oh, this? vintage helmut lang. pants. messy ponytail. why? BECAUSE I AM STELLA TENNANT, DUDES. no more questions."


uh...i think jack white is kinda really hot. i feel uncomfortable admitting this. are you ok with it?

you know what else is making me uncomf? in a seriously fantastic way?



british boy(s).
oh. hello. hi.

did i miss anyone who was dopeshow?

i missed you, dorota.

GOOD MORNING BLOGGYBLOGTOWN
i don't know about you but this on and off relationship that gossip girl is having with me is making me CRAZY.
on one week, gone for the next three, back, gone, spin-offs..jeeez. relax.

how great was this week though?
even dan was funny!
let's start here:



someone in their writer's room loves a fantasy costume sequence, danghole.
blair doing a 'guvnah' cockney thing made me hide under the blankets on kat's couch, it was so mortifying.
IN OTHER NEWS: that hat is tres gaga-esque, and ANY EXCUSE TO GET MAH GURL UP IN HERE makes me happy. blogaga.



inconceivable stepdad is back! avec awesome apron! yaaay! please invite me next year?



how HIDEOUS was everyone at that table? dudes, i mean, i know that serena's boyfriend status is a LIFE ALTERING NEWS ALERT but like..this is a fucking religious holiday, mabes we can KEEP A LID ON IT until after dinner.
as a non-jew, i was terribly offended.

also offensive:



serena's nastyass rat's nest. what in the WHAT?! who approved this, you're fired.

what was this dumdum up to?



tell me again...why was LIL J at the van der woodsen's playing monopoly with that poorly cast uncute kid and a mound of sliders n' bendystraws? he can't get to DUMBO?
chuck confrontation over a year later..empowering or feeble attempt to provide peroxyteen with a purpose in this ep? you decide, dear readers.

SIDENOTE: lisa said lil j came into her store the other day and was, to quote, a "horrible creature". not a cute look, tay tay momz!

this whole situation:



was retarded.
first of all? why dont you RUIN SOMEONE ELSE'S SPECIAL EVENT with your own drama? why don't you? oh. you did. WAY TO GO.
also : yale, columbia, cry for me argentina, TOO MANY IVY LEAGUES. waaah.
when nate and blair make out it the most chemistry-less thing ever. they must loathe each other.



heartbreak? cmon. not really. chuck is your true love, nate is boredom boning.
serena's wedding / not wedding love affair with dude who broke up with girl 5 mins ago is like..baffling? what's the point?



intrigue? this part got very 24...as the last few seconds ticked away..ALL IS NOT WHAT IT SEEMS! do we care? unclear.

ohhh. hello:



hi.



hey there.
sort of a wasted chuckisode BUT:
"i'm a 17 year old billionaire with great stamina" was pretty spesh.

as a parting note,
i am not sure what to do with this:
"baruch a ta adon-ay dis mio" ??!? spangbrew? hebnish? WHAT?!
gossip girl is SO MULTI-ETHNIC!!

bang up ep, josh schwartz. theeeenkz.

so everyone:
what're your thoughts on the upcoming spin-off? are we watching or no?

elementary, my dearz.

i haven't watched this week's gossip girl yet!
gah, i'm the worst ever.

should we look at this to tide us over?



very highlander-meets-sherlock holmes.

i prefer bass cop.

can someone do a "my sharona" tribute song for dorota?

was it just me...



...or was last week lamesauce??

this eyes wide shut jazz is SO NOT INTERESTING. chuck becomes a lovelorn pussy after one night and gets totally played by some dumdum faux-pair? NOT INTERSTING comma NOT SEXY. bring back saucy one liners and chuck-blair hotness.

do NOT bring back (dorky) teacher and (unsexy) student sex plots.
do NOT bring back dan humphrey shirtless OR in a top hat:



i have a STRICT no douche in tophats policy and i refuse to bend the rules for you, gossip girl.

PLEASE MAKE IT BETTER TONIGHT!

ps, every time i see little J in her role as "top fashion expert" i picture like, arabelle and jane being at school with her and she's all OMFG, the new kira plastinina stuff is soooooo cute, be my friends you guys! and then belle throws a fruits book at her head and jane is like, you're sitting on my vintage yohji, nerd. and that is amusing to me.

to sum up.

transcript of text messages that sum up the burberry party last night pretty succinctly:

friend: hi

me: hi. uh i'm at a barney's party hosted by chuck bass.

friend: ha, really?

me: yes really. it's like a douchey dude convention.

friend: whoa...coke & herpes?

me: no..more like hair straightners & diet pillz.

AAAAND SCENE.


notes for the record:
chuck stayed for about ten mins, he had on a lot of make up and but was still so so cute , i can't lie. so small. very small.

MK was being trailed by derek blasberg most of the night, she was in a trench (probs burberry?), skintight jeans and her signature balenciaga boots. teeny mctinerson, duh.

leigh lezark seems super mean girlish (duh not a shocker) and her bf max minghella was def the hottest boy therrrr. good GRIEF, quite a looker.

all in all...let's be honest, those parties are not so fun unless the gay boys you work with and the ones you know from other magazines are there so you can all gossip and be awful.

gg recap to come tonight, too much actual work....

i hope you've cleared your calendar

THANK YOU LORD JESUS BABY JESUS.
gossip girl, tonight.
!!!



i can't deal with dan's gross teacher affair...there is NO WAY that that nerdy high school kid is in any way good at doing anything nakedtimes ever.

i need good blairbows.
i need some major bass action.

don't disappoint me!!!

EDIT
PS
i'm gonna have to watch it ON THE DVR becuase i'm going to a barneys event hosted by umm..oh, you know....ED WESTWICK. i will probs hide in the corner and secretly freak. stay tuned for stories!!

like the deserts miss the rain

i feel so..lost.

empty.
ALONE.

I MISS YOU:



you too:



and you guys!:



you, not so much:



and obvi i'm counting the minutes:



COME BACK TO MEEEE.
COME.
BACK.